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ARE YOU DATING A PLAYER?

PART II  by  A. D. Summerlin

You’ve already been locked out of his cell phone, and he keeps calling you by sweet endearments so much that you suspect he doesn’t really know your name.  His mother has called you Marie and your name is Louise.  If you have not yet determined whether or not you are dating a player, here are more ways to make the determination:

1. FACEBOOK HAREM – He has more Facebook posts from women than men, and his guy friends are only in pictures that include him.   His Facebook wall consists of a bunch of women with captions that read, “Miss you,”  “Let’s do it again!” and “So much fun last Labor Day” and it’s September 15th.  These are signs of problems looming large on the horizon.

2. TOO MANY COMPLIMENTS – “You have the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen.” “You’re gorgeous, and I don’t throw that term around lightly.” “I’ve never been able to open up with a woman the way I have with you.” If he says all of this within the first hours of your first date, then he probably wants one thing and it is not between your ears.

3. MASTER OF CONFUSION – He confuses you with other women. As indicated earlier, he calls you some else’s name or mentions the movie you did not see with him last Friday.  He cares so little about you that he cannot keep his mind organized around his philandering.

4. MR. FUTURE – A player uses the expression “we” and makes future plans constantly.  He knows that this is appealing to a woman who is looking for a permanent relationship.  He even goes so far as to talk about future kids and pets. “We can do this, and we can do that, and we can go here and there.” Everything is we, we, we. A player gives women the words he knows they want to hear, but feels no guilt when he takes it back.

5. FRIEND TO NONE, LOVER TO ALL – He doesn’t have platonic female friends. A player doesn’t need platonic women friends because he’s only interested in having sex with all of them. He sees every woman as a potential sex partner, and therefore behaves as if it is a waste of his time to cultivate them as friends.

If you determine that your man is a player, study his behavior and learn from it.  Know that if his tricks did not work so well, he would not keep repeating them.    He is like a fisherman going out there with bait.  He knows he will eventually catch someone with his techniques.  He may even be indignant or throw a fit if you call him on his tricks.

If you want to amuse yourself in a dangerous situation, stay with this guy.  Otherwise stop wasting your time and get out of the way of the train wreck that this man will make of any real relationship.

For more info contact Elisabeth Dabbelt Elite Introductions and Matchmaking serving Central Floridahttp://orlandosingleprofessional.com/.

GREAT DATE DEFINED

by A.D. Summerlin

When dating, it is important to not just figure out what a dating nightmare looks like, but also recognize a great date. Here are some characteristics of the latter:

  • A great date is at a location that you both find neutral and pleasurable.  The atmosphere and food are fresh and satisfying. The service is efficient and the server is not hovering constantly.
  • A great date is aware that you took the time and trouble to prepare for the date.  He/she is considerate of your needs.  If you drove for two or three hours to get to the location, he/she makes note of this and thanks you.
  • A great date is polite to you and to anyone he/she encounters while on the date including servers at restaurants and parking valets.
  • A great date is someone who holds the conversation and when the conversation moves to a subject you do not want to discuss and you deliberately change the subject, he/she respects your choice.
  • A great date asks you questions about yourself and answers your questions.  The qualifier is that both of you are comfortable with the questions and if uncomfortable, may change the subject without reprisal.
  • A great date is in a good mood even if he/she just had a flat tire. Elite Introductions and Matchmaking serving Central Floridahttp://orlandosingleprofessional.com/.
  • A great date is complementary of your dress and looks, and is not gawking at everyone else in the room as if waiting for someone “better” to come along.
  • A great date does not check his/her cell phone. Unless he/she is a doctor, is on call with his/her job, or is on alert with a family emergency, and those are rare. For more ways to find the right one, contact Elite Introductions and Matchmaking serving Central Floridahttp://orlandosingleprofessional.com/.
  • A great date understands spontaneity and humor.  Laughter hugely important for a great date.  If you and your date have witty banter that is equal and your date is not competing for who is funniest, the date is a great one.
  • A great date comes to you with the best of intentions, and is considerate regarding who pays.  Generally, for the first date, the man or senior person pays.  The person who suggested is also a person who pays, and there should be no tense moments regarding this.  If a date is fumbling with the credit card or cash, trying to compel you to pay when you are the one who was asked out on the date, it is not a great date.
  • A great date enjoys the moment, enjoys you, and enjoys experiencing the moment with you.  Whether it is laughing over a centenarian birthday party at the next table in which the ancient man is surrounded by a bevy of lovely young woman, or a woman’s bachelorette party in the bar, a great date understands that all these moments make memories and enjoys them.
  • A great date ends with a hug or an affectionate kiss, not a tonsil examination.  The kiss is memorable and sweet, ends with eye contact, and there is absolutely no pressure for sex.
  • A great date is followed by a phone call or note the next day or in the days to follow.For more info contact Elisabeth Dabbelt Elite Introductions and Matchmaking serving Central Floridahttp://orlandosingleprofessional.com/.

Dating Rules for Women

The Do’s and Don’ts of dating for the modern female

Guys: If you don’t like this, look away now.

In another dating article  you will find a general set of rules than men should follow when dating. In the same way, women have some general rules that they should contend with when entering the dating jungle. Now I know everyone is different, so don’t take things too seriously here. There has been some controversy over some literature published in the USA that lays out in detail the rules a woman should follow to get her guy. Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider’s 1995 bestseller “The Rules,” explains how women should play hard if they want to get their guy.  The fact is that when we grow up, there are a predefined set of dating rules. What happens is that we forget most of them after the age of 21, and then realize we need to relearn them.

I wish there weren’t any general rules, but courtship is a ritual. There are things that we make happen that excite, stimulate, create interest and confound. Dating is a long test of compatibility. Are we perfectly matched? If we just threw ourselves together, then the chances of long term happiness might be compromised. And yet previous generations managed to succeed on a far less complex courtship criteria list. Many arranged marriages work all too interestingly.

In every society there are a predefined set of social rules we follow, from the way and timing of eating to the way we behave in public. The issue here is that when women date, there are some things that can help them be more successful. If we accept that dating is a game, then there are rules to that game. There are winners and losers. If you know the rules in advance, it gives you a head start. If men know the rules by which you are playing, you may change the rules to suit the situation to keep the man guessing. Men love a challenge, so feel free to adapt rules and add them as you feel inclined.

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General Dating Rules

  • Always look great, whatever your income. Gorgeous hair and some lipstick with rags will still turn his head. You have the advantage. You are the woman. Look your best as you could meet a potential Mr. Right anywhere at any time.
  • Never reveal information you don’t have to. An enigmatic woman drives men wild.
  • Keep dates brief, but your men interested. Less is always more.
  • Try and stay in shape and involve some fitness regime at a gym. However much you hate it, your Mr. Right loves your body as much as your mind.
  • Let your man pay. If he is interested, he is interested enough to ensure you eat well and get home safely in a cab.
  • Never ever sleep with a guy until he has fallen for you. Sex early in your dating game plan will ruin everything.
  • Always keep a guy waiting and never turn up early. It is a lady’s prerogative.
  • Never be available when he wants you to be. Never be at the end of a phone when he calls and always let him leave a message or two first before replying.
  • If he is available Tuesday, you are available Thursday.
  • Weekend shopping trips with girlfriends are sacred and not available for dates.
  • Keep your man standing on quicksand by shifting landmarks and goalposts constantly.
  • Ensure you are a good kisser. Men will walk away if you cannot kiss. Practice on a mirror if you have to.
  • Never ever talk about previous boyfriends, particularly their prowess in the bedroom. Your ex-boyfriends are your business only.
  • Never assume anything about your date until you choose to know him better. You cannot always tell by looking.
  • If any man shows the slightest signs of possessiveness or insecurity, run like the wind. Life is too short for boys.
  • If his shoes or hygiene are a disgrace, dump him.
  • Never talk too much about your father and how your date measures up in comparison.
  • Never ever come across as too available or too desperate. He will run a mile. He is the one doing the chasing.
  • If the guy in the corner is gorgeous, go get him and create the need in him for you. Never wait for men to come to you because you may watch him leave with someone else.
  • You may well have all the bodily functions of a man, just try not to demonstrate them early on.
  • If you want a child, don’t mention it on the first few dates.
  • Never ever criticize his mother unless you want to remain single.

Elisabeth

CAN BACKGROUND MUSIC IMPROVE THE MOOD?

A new French study reported in Psychology of Music found that women are much more likely to agree to a date when romantic music is playing in the background.

French researchers studied 87 women. The women were asked to wait in a waiting room — some listening to a love song, others listening to a neutral song. They were then asked to rate two different food products by a man rated extremely average-looking by another group of women.

The researchers chose ‘Je l’aime à mourir’, a very well-known love song by French songwriter Francis Cabrel which, loosely translated means, “I loved her to death,” You can see Francis working his magic at http://www.lyricstraining.com/game258.htm For similar American mushiness, I’d recommend Marc Cohn’s “True Companion.”

What did they find?

The romantic love song in the waiting room almost doubled average Antoine’s chances of getting a woman’s phone number — 52% of participants agreed to a date while under the influence of Francis Cabrel, while only 28% of women listening to the neutral song offered their digits.

How can music affect dating so dramatically?

There are a variety of theories floating around about that one. It’s possible that the romantic music acts as sort of a prime for romantic feelings — after all, we’ve all been conditioned with thousands of romantic movies with music to match. It’s also possible that the music induces an emotion that makes us more open to romantic possibilities. And, the researchers had already learned that playing romantic music in a flower shop entices men to spend more money. That’s right, women aren’t the only ones turning to romantic mush when we hear the first strains of At Last.

Take A Different Approach

If you’ve felt like you’ve been in a long “dry spell” in your love life, getting no attention or having no success with men and you can’t figure out why – perhaps it’s simply time to consider changing your life with a new approach.

Imagine if you will the following: You’re single and loving it. You have a full life complete with good friends, a not-all-bad job, and your own place.

You haven’t had a boyfriend in a while but you’re not too worried. There’s plenty of time to figure that stuff out, and besides – although you know many women who are married and have been in a few weddings already, most of your closest friends haven’t found “the one” either.

One night your phone rings. It’s your best friend. “I have HUGE news!” she says. “I’m getting
married!”

You’re stunned. You didn’t even know she was seriously dating anyone.