The Do’s and Don’ts of dating for the modern female
Guys: If you don’t like this, look away now.
In another dating article you will find a general set of rules than men should follow when dating. In the same way, women have some general rules that they should contend with when entering the dating jungle. Now I know everyone is different, so don’t take things too seriously here. There has been some controversy over some literature published in the USA that lays out in detail the rules a woman should follow to get her guy. Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider’s 1995 bestseller “The Rules,” explains how women should play hard if they want to get their guy. The fact is that when we grow up, there are a predefined set of dating rules. What happens is that we forget most of them after the age of 21, and then realize we need to relearn them.
I wish there weren’t any general rules, but courtship is a ritual. There are things that we make happen that excite, stimulate, create interest and confound. Dating is a long test of compatibility. Are we perfectly matched? If we just threw ourselves together, then the chances of long term happiness might be compromised. And yet previous generations managed to succeed on a far less complex courtship criteria list. Many arranged marriages work all too interestingly.
In every society there are a predefined set of social rules we follow, from the way and timing of eating to the way we behave in public. The issue here is that when women date, there are some things that can help them be more successful. If we accept that dating is a game, then there are rules to that game. There are winners and losers. If you know the rules in advance, it gives you a head start. If men know the rules by which you are playing, you may change the rules to suit the situation to keep the man guessing. Men love a challenge, so feel free to adapt rules and add them as you feel inclined.
General Dating Rules
- Always look great, whatever your income. Gorgeous hair and some lipstick with rags will still turn his head. You have the advantage. You are the woman. Look your best as you could meet a potential Mr. Right anywhere at any time.
- Never reveal information you don’t have to. An enigmatic woman drives men wild.
- Keep dates brief, but your men interested. Less is always more.
- Try and stay in shape and involve some fitness regime at a gym. However much you hate it, your Mr. Right loves your body as much as your mind.
- Let your man pay. If he is interested, he is interested enough to ensure you eat well and get home safely in a cab.
- Never ever sleep with a guy until he has fallen for you. Sex early in your dating game plan will ruin everything.
- Always keep a guy waiting and never turn up early. It is a lady’s prerogative.
- Never be available when he wants you to be. Never be at the end of a phone when he calls and always let him leave a message or two first before replying.
- If he is available Tuesday, you are available Thursday.
- Weekend shopping trips with girlfriends are sacred and not available for dates.
- Keep your man standing on quicksand by shifting landmarks and goalposts constantly.
- Ensure you are a good kisser. Men will walk away if you cannot kiss. Practice on a mirror if you have to.
- Never ever talk about previous boyfriends, particularly their prowess in the bedroom. Your ex-boyfriends are your business only.
- Never assume anything about your date until you choose to know him better. You cannot always tell by looking.
- If any man shows the slightest signs of possessiveness or insecurity, run like the wind. Life is too short for boys.
- If his shoes or hygiene are a disgrace, dump him.
- Never talk too much about your father and how your date measures up in comparison.
- Never ever come across as too available or too desperate. He will run a mile. He is the one doing the chasing.
- If the guy in the corner is gorgeous, go get him and create the need in him for you. Never wait for men to come to you because you may watch him leave with someone else.
- You may well have all the bodily functions of a man, just try not to demonstrate them early on.
- If you want a child, don’t mention it on the first few dates.
- Never ever criticize his mother unless you want to remain single.