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Ice Breakers as Conversation Starters

The purpose of breaking the ice with someone new isn’t to show off your amazing conversational skills. Instead, think of your initial contact as a way to show a potential date that you’d like to talk to them. Some conversation starter ideas to get the words flowing:

· Comment on an item that you both share in your immediate surroundings, such as the long lineup you’re both waiting in or the wobbly chair next to you. By focusing an item you can both experience, you’re removing any potential awkwardness with a canned comment.

· Sometimes a look is all that’s needed to break the ice. When faced with a person you find attractive, why not give them a genuine, 3 second smile? You may be surprised when the object of your happiness starts a conversation with you, instead.

· If there is something the person is or has that truly intrigues you, simply use that as a conversation starter. This could be as simple as admiring a piece of clothing or asking them about the item they ordered.

· A genuine hello coupled with a smile can be equally as effective.

For more relationship coaching, contact Elisabeth Dabbelt, CEO – Elite Introductions, LLC. https://orlandosingleprofessional.com/; Email – EDabbelt@bellsouth.net ELITE INTRODUCTIONS AND MATCHMAKING

Conversation Topics

You’ve made first contact – now what? Conversation starters that seem witty or interesting can be a challenge in the spur of the moment. That’s why spending a little bit of time at home pondering the ‘now what’ will pay, later. You don’t need to invest hours into these conversation starters though. Some quick ideas that can work in a pinch:

· Current event topics of interest to you;

· The last movie you watched;

· A comment about the event you’re attending, with a follow-up question asking how they heard about it.

The point of this exercise is to create a backup of topics that you can draw upon on a moment’s notice to start a conversation that would also be of interest to someone else.

Dating: Rules of Civility

We are living in a time when civility, diplomacy, and discretion are at an all time low. The fact is that the finer part of our natures wants to get along with others, and it is extremely important to be able to spend time with those whose opinions we do not share. This is especially true when it comes to dating and establishing new romantic or platonic friendships.

Elite Introductions & Matchmaking, LLC

People who are dating are those who have chosen to pursue new relationships. The process of dating gives individuals a chance to practice social skills that may or may not be used in everyday life, but should certainly be cultivated for social interaction. In other words, dating is good practice for making friends and for moving comfortably through the world. This includes knowing when certain subjects and behaviors are taboo or inappropriate for a social setting.

It is generally agreed that there are taboo subjects for the first three dates: ex-spouses (girl/boyfriends, lovers, etc.), politics, religion, finances (money in general), sex, and death. With ex’s, money and politics leading the pack, these subjects are taboo because they take the focus away from two people getting to know each other and place the spotlight on other people, places, and things. These subjects have the power to terminate a potential relationship before it starts because they remove the people present away from the moment.

Picture yourself getting all dressed up and excited about going to a lovely restaurant with someone who is new and potentially interested in you as a partner or friend. The stage is set for a wonderful evening. Now ask yourself these questions:
Who wants to hear about an evil ex or “irreplaceable” spouse who died of an insidious fatal disease?
Who wants to be bludgeoned by questions about political issues when the discussion will end in either an alienating argument or a heated agreement about something other than the people having dinner?
Who wants to hear about how much money someone makes or used to make before he/she was laid off, got divorced, lost all his/her money to his/her gambling (or any other kind of) addiction?
Who wants to be insulted for his/her own beliefs and hear about how a date is morally superior to others because of his/her devout beliefs.

The answer to these questions is NO ONE! That’s who.

In such a scenario, you are encouraged to talk about other subjects and enjoy the moment, the atmosphere, the dining experience, the wine, the music being played by the pianist in the lounge. Appropriate subjects are: travel, music, movies, history, hobbies, professions, art, literature, the animal kingdom, sports, how attractive your date looks, humor, theatre. The list is endless.

Believe it or not, if you can overcome defensiveness regarding avoidance of taboo subjects, there is still a world of things to discuss and a delightful memory to be made from an enjoyable evening with someone special.

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A First Date Is No Time For Interrogation

This advice is for both men and women. When dating someone, for the first few dates remember that this is a time to get to see someone in a positive light, and not to take a torch into the most private recesses of each other’s lives. On the first few dates there will be subjects that your partner simply does not want to talk about because that person does not know you very well. She/he does not know if you can keep confidences or even if they want to confide in you. Insisting on talking about sensitive subjects may bring up unpleasant memories and cause her or him to experience pain. They may be subjects that this person is trying to leave behind or are simply no one else’s business.

This is no time to keep pressing the issue. For example, if your date does not want to talk about an ex and a painful divorce, and you will not accept that request for privacy and keep asking questions about the issue, your date will eventually get angry or resentful and will relive the unpleasant and uncomfortable feelings that you evoked. The unpleasant feeling will then be associated with you, and the potential for a romance or even a friendship is shot because your date thinks that you are a person who likes to pry. This is especially true if your questions are rapid fire and turn an evening that was supposed to be an enjoyable experience into an interrogation. Also, do not try a new approach to fact-finding by saying, “well the subject doesn’t bother me,” and then continue to act as if your date should play therapist. That kind of thinking is courting disaster as well.

Trust our expertise here and realize that when your date says she/he does not want to talk about something; that is when it is time to exercise respect and diplomacy and change the subject. It takes courage to be open enough to say, “I don’t want to talk about that.” When such a comment (or one like it) is said, stop, focus on the place where you are right at that moment, and enjoy the rest of the evening. If you keep pressing and pressuring your date for more information only the desperate, twisted, or truly disturbed will stick around for more evenings with you.

To recap – When on a first date:

  • Do stay away from private subjects, especially previous relationships or other dating partners
  • Do change the subject if your date makes the request
  • Do concentrate on the experience at hand and try to stay in the moment
  • Do not interrogate your date about anything
  • Do not expect your date to play therapist

Again remember that you cannot go back to the beginning of any relationship and re-do a botched romance. Respect all personal boundaries regarding conversational connections. If your date looks like he/she is uncomfortable about a certain subject, or expresses discomfort in any way, let it go. The chances are that you have much in common with your date. Enjoy making a memory of the moment at hand, and above all – have fun! Elite Introductions & Matchmaking, LLC

Brainstorming Your Relationship Expectations? by Elisabeth Dabbelt

Brainstorming Your Relationship Expectations

Take a moment and brainstorm on paper for a little bit; ten or fifteen minutes should do the trick nicely. Close your eyes and picture your ideal mate: what talents, qualities, personality traits, experiences and emotional capabilities do you want him or her to have? Don’t censor yourself, and let your mind wander to wherever it goes. If you’re having a hard time coming up with some ideas, think about your past relationships and use their positive aspects as your starting guide.

Next, write the number one next to all of the items you wrote that you feel are essential to your happiness, and a two next to the items that would be nice, but not necessary.

Ranking Your Relationship Expectations

Take all of the items marked with the number one, and list them in your own order of importance on a seperate sheet of paper. If this is hard (and for most people it is!) write each item on a small separate sticky note. Then, place each item in order of most important to least important on a wall or other large surface, and move the sticky notes around until you feel you’ve found the right combination.

Look at your top five items. These are the expectations you have for a quality relationship that you should never compromise on. Therefore, if you meet someone who you are extremely attracted to, but doesn’t have all five of the items you’ve listed on your must-have list – it’s time to move on.

Evolution is Necessary When it Comes to Relationship Expectations

Finally, realize that your relationship expectations will change and evolve over time. Don’t be scared to review your list and go through this exercise after every breakup as part of your preparations to date again or anytime you feel your relationship needs have changed. or anytime you feel your relationship needs have changed. Love is out there and here are some tips for finding love, romance, happiness and possibly marriage.